9 years and safe to say "They" got a few things wrong

9 years.  And my heart breaks again.

So I am just going to come out and say it.  I have tested the wisdom of the ages and I feel convinced of a few things. Time does not heal all wounds.  Nobody ever falls for 'it's better to have loved and lost...'  There's no getting over it, getting on with it, or getting around it.  And Eleanor Roosevelt, this too, does not pass.  Ever notice if you drop a rubber ball it doesn't 'bounce back' to it's original height?  Can't get back to normal if all the things that are normally there are now not.  Those who know grief know that they collective "they" who brought such adages into place either didn't intend to apply them to grief, or were at best poetically insensitive if not complete emotional shysters.  Just saying.

Perhaps the ancient Egyptians captured it better.  Speaking a name breathes life into they who have vanished...to say one's name is to make them live.  I like the sound of that.

Brooke and Jaycena.  As long as we carry your names on our lips, your faces in our memories...you remain.

Jaycena and Laramie.  As long as we carry the sense of your spirit in our hearts, as long as we live, you remain.

I do my best to spot beauty, and see it as you might. I cannot see heaven through your eyes, but I hope somehow you can see this world through mine.  I took this picture yesterday while thinking of you.  "Fleurs," I thought, remembering your voice and the way you said it.  I was thinking you would find them beautiful as I did.

But today when I look at it, I realize perhaps I see beauty most when it reminds me of you.

 I guess I am realizing right now, that even through the tears of today and all these years, I am grateful for all the beauty you left us...your smile, your laughter, the best hugs in the world, the gentleness of your heart, and the purity of your expression.  But oh how we miss you.