15 and Million Years Ago

I took this picture when you were 15.  Which was 15 years ago.  It was both yesterday and a million years ago in my mind.  You are about 2 seconds away from a goofy laugh and moving from this funny face to the next thing.  I thought we'd be doing things like this forever at the time.  You were always, and will always be, so beautiful.

 

I took a walk today.  It felt like walking through another lifetime.  I drove by the my old school where you spent your last day playing volleyball.  I walked through the old house, and down the stairs you walked down that last morning.  I touched the wall where the phone used to be...where you stood when we talked on the phone that last day.  The phone was gone but I could hear your voice so clearly all the same.

I drove by the playground where you girls stopped to take pictures.  And I left a little heart at the spot yours stopped.  I said a little prayer and left a few more tears.

As I walked through your world again, I couldn't help but notice how much less vibrant it seems without your light and color.  I felt like I was walking through a tattered memory more than a place.

And in your room, your old shoes, a hint of your personality...I remember shopping with you for these, and getting the sales guy to find the green laces.  I miss you.  I wish today you were walking with me, and anywhere else.

I wish your goodbye wasn't so soon.  Love can last a lifetime.  And so can grief it seems.  But at least there is love.  And you were so very, very loved.

Love you Jaycena...today, always, and forever.

Thirty One

 Thirty One.  My newest pictures are almost as old as you ever were.  It can be hard not to get stuck in grieving for all you did not get to be, to do, to see.  But on your birthday I focus extra hard on the gift that you were.

Every once in a while, I still find a new treasure.  Like this photograph my brother had.  I could almost feel the summer sun in the prairie sky, smell the lilacs that would bloom on those trees, hear the din of family behind the photographer in that busy country house, and hear the giggle that would be characteristic of Jaycena.  And of course, she was already loving horses.  It takes me back to a feeling where anything was possible, time was slow and meandering, summers went on forever, and always came back around.  Be it innocence, or naivety, it was wonderful, and there she is in the center of it.

Thank you Jaycena, for the gifts of your laughter that echo through time.  For the hugs that can hold a soul for a lifetime, heaven knows we need that now.  For your genuine spirit.  For being compassionate, earnest, kind, funny, and deep -- from the moment I saw you were already these things, and you stayed true to them throughout your short life.  It's a special kind of person who animals intrinsically trust.  Whether it was a bug, a frog, a bird, or some other critter, they sought you out and trusted your touch.  We were truly blessed to have you in our lives...to hold your hand, to hug you back and to wipe away the tears when that big heart felt too much.  We literally delighted in every little thing you did...you had a way of making just a random moment a special one.

I wish I were taking a new picture of you today, teasing you about getting older, or something equally mundane and ordinary.  Or maybe it would just be a text, because you were off a trip somewhere fabulous, like Spain.  Oh how I wish that was the story we had to tell.

Happy 31st birthday in heaven beautiful.  Thank you for sharing light a with us that will shine for our whole lives.  I am often sure I see your hand in the magic of random moments, and I thank you for that gift as well.

Thoughts and Prayers

Over the past few years social media has demonized the phrase thoughts and prayers in the quest for action for a cause.  I cringe every time I see someone slam thoughts and prayers.  Because I love the thoughts and prayers sent over the years on behalf of Jaycena, Brooke, and Laramie.  Sometimes, thoughts and prayers are the only honest, raw, and real things that can be offered.  I think I speak for many of us who live with lifelong grief when I say we are grateful for every thought and prayer for us, and the angels we have lost.

Today marks 14 years since we lost these beautiful girls.  I wondered what I could write today...is there something profound and unsaid in my soul after all of these years? Or that the cold, bare truth is simply that it is still awful, ugly, and painful.  That it will always be an awful, ugly, and painful contrast to the wonderful, beautiful, joyous times we were gifted with them.

Perhaps the beauty of thoughts and prayers, is that they are lighter than truth.  And thus they are carried on the updrafts of hope, and at light speed by a text, ping, call from the solid foundations of friends and family and supporters, across miles and time zones.  And your own thoughts and prayers can lift you up as well.

Obviously I think of Jaycena often.  I wonder what she would make of something, where she would be today, what she would be doing at that moment.  I lean heavily into memories, hearing so clearly her voice or laugh. 

And I also still have prayers.  That she can hear me.  That she knows how much we love and miss her.  

And every now and then, something happens that makes me think of course she can, and of course she knows.  Like listening to my brother talk and hearing that little voice in exactly that tone of hers chime in in my mind with a wisecrack right where she would.  I have to also admit I had a sly smile when I was picking pictures today.  I had already gone to the store and looked at all the flowers, and these silly sunflowers were just the ones that spoke to me.  Then I perused some of her old facebook page photos back at the house and came across the one of her holding the sunflowers...it's not one I remember noticing before, but I like to think I had help finding just the right thing again today.

In our memories, they are vibrant, laughing, talking.  I can see, hear, and remember the feel of things in those memories.  Memories are thoughts too...and in a way, they are prayers within themselves.  Thoughts, prayers, and memories are golden.  So I thank you for sharing yours with us.

Jaycena, I often seek out beauty and experience with you in mind.  I stop especially to look at flowers and birds and wonder what angle you would photograph, what things you would find randomly amusing or amusingly random.  I often imagine you next to me, praying that you get to share the views and solitude.  And because of all that you have etched in my heart and mind, surely in some way I can say that you are.  Love you and miss you so very, very much...today, always, and forever xo

 

Snowy Shenanigans

So in addition to dogsledding, there are some other ways to cut up nice powdery trails through the woods.  For this adventure, we headed to Girdwood and joined a snowmobile tour...machines, helmets provided (think they had extra warm gloves and jackets for the tourists who might not be packing snowpants and jackets).  We took an off shoot road, which I think was an old mining road, out into the boonies.  And the powder out there was AMAZING!

Again, there are plenty of different tours in different locations, but this is the one we grabbed.  They had another one that goes out on a lake around some glacial...bergs?  It looked pretty cool too, but t was not being offered on this particular day.

Looks like sitting on top of the clouds...but nope, thats all fluffy white stuff.  Guess it's a snowmobiler's heaven.

The first pass we were led down the trail, and given a bit of an idea of what the bigger loop looked like...where there were some wide open spaces to cut into the powder, where the slopes were, dips and hills, and those blissful straight stretches for going all out on the throttle later.

It was the second part I enjoyed....lettting the group get a head and then going faster that I would have been able to in the line :)  It had been years since I last rode a snowmachine, but, it came back quickly and it was just as much fun as I remembered.

After about an hour we parked the machines and stopped at a musher's cabin....they had a smoker going making hot dogs and hot cocoa, and some marshmallows handy for toasting at the open fire waiting for us.

Is there ever a time when a bonfire happens and it isn't a great day?  No, I didn't think so either.

Just another great way to spend a day in Alaska.

 

It's An Alaskan Thing

What to do in winter in Alaska?  Well, there are more options than one might think.  I did get a winter house guest over Christmas a couple of years ago, which forced myself and a coworker to get out there and explore some of what Alaska winter tourism has to offer.

Some places offer horseback riding...on beaches, in forests, jungles, and mountains.  In Alaska, we have dogsled tours.  There are many dog sled tours one can join in Alaska (both winter and summer), so for our week of home tourism, we picked one that wasn't too long of a drive, and one that was run by a family long engrained as mushers in the Iditarod race.  Alaska Sled Dog Tours, near Talkeetna, run by Dallas Seavey, who I believe won the Iditarod 5 times -- his father and grandfather also quite legendary in the dog sled community.

It was, of course, a wildly snowy day as we set out in daybreak.  The roads were bad enough that my coworker took an uber for the 13 mile drive to my house, but for some crazy reason everyone still felt very confident about the nearly 2 hour drive in a blizzard with me at the helm of my Grand Prix (fortunately equipped with some pretty expensive and awesome Nokian studded tires).  I am not going to lie...it was a white knuckle drive, and my two fearless passengers actually kept their eyes closed a good chunk of the way.  But as we finally got close to the destination, the roads cleared a bit.  We got off the main trail on the way to the kennels, and, after all of that, we went to turn down a long lane and saw a major snow drift, probably 3 feet deep, running across the entire road.   In true prairier farm girl style, I did the only logical thing once we sighted it.  I pinned it.  We ploughed through, coming out slightly sideways, dragging and spewing snow and we launched out/over the other side...but we didn't get stuck and were able to get through the last few miles to our destination.  For this moment of brilliance, I would for the remainder of the house guests visit, and forever more, be referred to as Grand Prix.

We got there a little before sunrise...a beautiful expanse of snow, sky, a few moose in sight, and a lot of chatter of sled dogs.  They ushered our little group over to an area to meet our teams for the day.  This dude looked at us as if to say "you coming with me?"

Followed by, then why are we still standing here?

I am not sure what the dogsled equivalent of "Saddle up" is...I imagine it's harness up, or hitch up.  But all the same they got everybody in their spots and leads and gave us a quick lesson on mushing...the main thing being how to apply a little foot brake, which is basically a metal claw on the back on the sled that you can lean on to dig into the snow.  Sled dogs can 9-10 miles per hour.  On this day, we did a little 5 mile loop, and went about 6 miles per hour (giving us time for a short stop to switch up mushers).  So yes, we all got a turn to mush.

While the Iditarod became a race after the famous 1925 serum run where diptheria antitoxin was delivered by dogsled over 1000 miles in a winter diptheria outbreak as there was no other way to get supplies, the Iditarod trail predates that, and dogsled teams as a way of transport go back hundreds of years in the Alaska Native culture.  Genetic studies show that many lineages of todays sled dogs include malamute, husky, german shepherd, and even wolf.  In general, these are high energy dogs with a good thick undercoat of fur.  Most mushers have little booties for their feet if it's a long run.  There is no enticement for the dogs to run...yes, they train to run together, to be a team, but, mostly they run because that's that's just what they do most days.  Many an Iditarod musher has had their dream dashed because the dogs just said, no, we are not running today, and no coaxing in the world was changing that (thinking of the year Nic Petit was set to be the clear winner, but when his dogs got to an area they didn't like, they just hunkered down in the snow and said "nope".  He waited it out another day, maybe two, then took them all into a nearby cabin where they cozied up by the fire and called it the end of their race.)

We got to have a little taste of both of these things.  Once we got ready, the dogs were eager to go, the footbrake was no match for their enthusiasm.  But once you got the hang of it, it was such a beautiful, serene, peaceful ride.  Just the sound of the sled blades cutting into the snow, and the chatter between the dogs.  It was honestly one of those times that you just stop and think how lucky you are to be right where you are at that moment.

At the halfway point, we stopped at this little cabin for a sip of hot chocolate.

Prophet, was ever so excited to get moving again, and seemed to be urging us to hurry up.

"Come ooooooooonnnnnn", he seemed to be saying.  And so we did.

Back on the trail we went, smoothly, happily, all going according to plan.  Until Grandpa Seavey and his team were sighted cutting up some snowbanks off the mail train in the distance.  This is where we got to see the dogs doing what the dogs wanted to do.  Attempts at steering, braking, talking, coaxing, and pleading were all unsuccessful and Prophet and his buddies decided to go join Grandpa, bounding through dog deep snow, us in town, until we finally, truly, got stuck for the day.  Fortunately our chaperone musher was near by and came to the front on the team and led us out on foot back to the trail, where, excitement over, and Grandpa Seavey long gone, they happily sped off down the trail back taking us back to the kennels.

Back at the kennels, we got offered a chance to snuggle some puppies.  We sooooo took them up on that.  After that we headed to Talkeetna, home of Mayor Stubbs (of a previous blog called "The Disputed Political Career of Stubbs the Cat"), in quest of lunch.  Talkeetna is a quirky little town, for sure.  I have to admit the irony of this sign announcing downtown Talkeetna cracked me up a bit.

I honestly don't remember where it was that we stopped for lunch.  I am sure it had Brewery in the title, so going to surmise it was The Denali Brewery Company.  And in all it's Alaska quirkiness, I noted that it had this poster hanging in the bathroom.

Another great Alaska Adventure complete!
 

The Second Hand Cat Store

On a lazy Saturday, after a weekend curled up with the cats and a book, I realize if I am going to keep up with my "soul finding therapy of words", I should probably type something up.  I realize, in the long absences of writing, that the story of Mr. Muffins has yet to be told.

                            

I moved to Alaska with my little rescue cats...a bonded pair of little black "Panthers".  Aiden (aka Baby Phat, that was his gangster cat name), was the braver of the brothers...a loving, rounded, food orientated tubby ball of purrs.  Harry, the more tentative, people shy guy, stuck to his brother like glue and used him as a shield between himself and the human in the house.  I always said Harry was basically a feral cat that roamed my house.  Well, in 2020 Aiden went into kidney failure at the age of 8...too young.  We managed a hospitalization, a brief recovery, and 3 months of home care with giving iv fluids and daily meds...but I couldn't save him.  His little body gave out and he passed away at home on a gray November day wrapped in my arms and tears.  

Aiden, aka Baby Phat

            

Aiden loved cat grass, chickadees, and killing flowers

                        

I was devastated and broken hearted.  My little snugglebug who was waiting at the top of the stairs every day as I walked in the door.  The fuzzle who crashed across the bed and laid across me purring at the sound of the first snooze alarm, wanting to be cuddled just a few minutes more before the start of every day.  Little Aiden who curled up by my head on whatever couch I was on, who hunted every chicken meal I ever had.  He comically swatted a chicken wing right out of my hands once.  And he was often sighted standing with 2 feet on the floor, upright, two on the window, watching birds and plotting a summer barbecue.  About the only thing more heartbreaking than my loss, was Harry's.  His protector, his security blanket, his wayfinder in the world, suddenly gone.  They used to sleep, curled up like a little yin and yan...Harry always the back piece, Aiden the front keeping his smaller brother insulated with his own self from whatever fears they knew before I found them in the shelter in Bermuda.

                        

                        

Both Harry and I were too broken hearted to bring another kitty in the home.  And we weren't sure where life was going to take us, the work VISA was up for renewal in just 2 months.  We sat together, with an Aiden shaped gap between us.  He meowed, offered up his back for scratches here and there, came by for an ear rub, but he was obviously lonely.  And life wasn't going too well on the human front.  There was a little pandemic going on, which kept me kind of busy at work....crazy busy.  While the rest of the world transitioned to working from home, I transitioned to working from home from 7pm til midnight, and sometimes again from 5-7am , and then went in for the normal hours.  There was no more cross border travel, and that meant renewal of the work VISA had to happen in a different way.  There was a delay, and so while I was granted the immigration approval to keep working, that isn't recognized by other government agencies, like the DMV.  So I found myself without a driver's license.  Coworkers and the employee were committed to getting me to and fro work each day, which worked for a couple of months.  And then the paperwork came in, and for reasons not entirely clear at the time, my VISA renewal was denied.  That meant I would have 30 days to leave the country, or I could cross the border and present at the border, and ask for a VISA renewal in the old fashioned way.

This presented a number of problems.  At that time, flying into Canada meant a 2 week quarantine, and you could only fly into 5 Canadian cities....none of which were near where I needed to get to.  If the VISA was successful after that wait, then you just come back.  But if it's denied, there is no guarantee of re-enterring the country to wrap up affairs.  What do you do the apartment, the furniture, etc?  And so that meant that crossing the border meant the poor feral cat had to come too.  There was also the issue of the car...I didn't want to sell it, but I was no longer in possession of a valid driver's license in any country.  The US wouldn't budge, Bermuda was a scooter license (driving down the Alaska highway on a scooter loaded up with all my worldly possessions and a feral cat is not an option I considered, but in retrospect, it may have been the easiest path!), and Canada said they could only help me if I presented in person.  I looked at options like having a friend or family member travel with me...but the Canadian friends and family weren't allowed across the border because it was non-essential travel (in government eyes at least) and vice versa for the American friends.  We looked at options like trying to drive across the border without a valid driver's license (that seemed particularly dumb), tried to get approvals to friends to cross one way or the other, but even if approved, both parties needed a 2 week quarantine on either side.  I finally called the Canadian embassy to see if there was anything they could do to help get me home.  It took a while, but they called me back with a plan.  The American friends could drive me as far as the American side of the Alaska Canada border.  The Canadians could drive to the Canadian side of the border.  Neither party would be permitted to cross, and the Canadian side had the special element of the person driving in only being permitted a set amount of hours to transit the Yukon and NWT (designed for 1 way without stopping), or we would all have to do a 2 week quarantine in the great white north.  They instructed me that I would have to walk from the American side of the border to the Canadian side.  "Here's the thing," they say.  "It's a bit of a walk between those stations."  I recall the drive, and it is a bit of a way.  "Do you know how far that is?" I asked, thinking it was at least 5 km.  "36 kilometers," they said.  "Your plan is for me to walk 36 kilometers carrying my cat THROUGH BEAR COUNTRY?"  "Yes maam," they said.  Oh, and since my VISA was no longer valid, they mentioned if I did manage to bring my relatively new car, I would have to pay an import tax coming (6 or 7% of the market value of the car), and reimport it to the US or another fee /when the VISA approval went through. 

So, we went back to other plans.   I started trying to get back across the border without being forced to stay 3-14 days in a $200+ a night quarantine hotel, which let's be honest, is about the least safe thing you can do in a pandemic.  Shared HVAC systems...no thanks, I'd rather walk with my feral cat though the field of bears.  Came pretty close to a plan where me, the feral cat, and 2 retired former coworkers who found the ridiculousness of this too hilarious to not partake in, would fly to Montana, get a rental car, and they would drop me at the border.  Ultimately, I stuffed my depressed feral cat into the carrier and booked a one way ticket to Great Falls, Montana on my own.  The cat did not travel well.  He pooped once right in the customs inspection room, almost creating an almost international incident on whether or not they now needed to xray the poop for contraband...and it is against the rule to leave things behind in the screening room, so I then had to proceed through the rest of screening room with the cat AND the poop.  Once I finally got the little guy to a change room to change the pad...he was so stressed out that he pooped again about 5 minutes into the flight...and of course I only packed 1 extra pee pad.  We checked into the Airport lounge in Seattle where I could at least get him a quiet spot, try to wipe him down, and chug a few wines to deal with my own stress.  Then it was off to Great Falls, where the cat, now reminded what boarding an aircraft is life, and disliking takeoff, yowled at the top of his lungs on the entire climb to altitude.  I was so grateful to be landing in Great Falls and heading for the hotel, but fun fact, when you land in that tiny airport at 10pm...there are no taxi cabs.  At all.  Ever.  They were flicking the lights out at the airport while we were picking up luggage, and I stepped out into the darkness, with my poopy cat, into the desolate silence of a Prairie night.   A lady getting picked up by her daughter looked at me and said "honey, where on earth are you going?"  She told me my hotel was several miles away, and there were no cabs, and she giggled when I said Uber?  The universe wanted me to hike through the unknown with my feral cat...but the kind lady offered me a ride (her daughter was much less excited about taking this stranger and her cat on a joyride), and, not I usually being the type to hitchike, was a little wary but ever so grateful.  No  mid west axe murdering occurred.

I got to the hotel, which gratefully had a wardrobe with doors.  In my exodus from America, I could once again do an international move with just 100 pounds of luggage, and a carryon cat.  100 pounds sounds like a lot, but sit down with 2 suitcases and a scale and figure out which parts of your life you will carry with you into the future.  It's always less adventurous than it sounds.  So from the 100 pounds I was allocated, I pulled out the cardboard box and small bag of litter to may a disposable litter pan for Harry.  And his cat food.  Speaks volumes to how fond I am of the little fuzzball, he took up a good chunk of the allocation for possessions.  I hosed down the carrier, and scrubbed down the poopy feral cat (he was too weary and scared to fight it much), and then tucked him in the closet and closed to the door  all but a crack so he could pass out with exhaustion.  He didn't try to leave the closet once, he was so grateful for a quiet hidey space.

In the morning, I grabbed a coffee, stuffed the poor animal back into the carrier, and took a $400 taxi ride to the Canadian border.  They got me "as close as they could", within a few hundred feet at least, and unceremoniously drove off.  Leaving me to walk the rest of the way of the road (it's a highway), dragging 2 suitcases and a feral cat in a bag.  You would think there is a footpath, or an foot entrance to the building, but nope,  I stood there on the road with my cat and my luggage behind the semi, in front of the big Dodge truck behind me giving me the evil eye, and walked up to the border window.  I walked back into my mother country like the bedraggled, bewildered, weary pandemic refugee that I was.

After standing in line, declaring my life's possessions in those 2 suitcases in my "repatriation documents", and being snubbed by the one agent who didn't want to deal with the cat, I was kicked out to the other side to do a mandatory covid test (despite the vaccine card, and 48 hr negative test I had just presented to the agents 10 minutes earlier).  I was 'alllowed' to quarantine at my brother's house, and so he was allowed to pick me up as long as we didn't stop anywhere. Once I arrived, I was not permitted to exit the house for 2 weeks for any reason, and Canada actually spent the money to call and ask you what you were doing, where are you, have you left the house?  It was insanity.

Anyway, after what seemed like an eternity, but was really only about 6 weeks, I had all updated documents and guidance from the lawyer to present to the border.  At this point neither me, the lawyer, nor the employer really thought I was getting back.  We still didn't understand the rejection.  But if I did get back, all the same pandemic restrictions applied.  There was no back and forth.  So I stuffed the poor feral cat back into the bag for the first flight to Calgary.  He yowled all the way to altitude, and then some, and I was so grateful for the kindness of all the other passengers saying they felt bad for the poor little guy (rather than parachuting him out the side door).  On the next flight to Vancouver, the cat was having none of it, and actually started yowling on the tarmack as we walked to the plane.  I rented an overpriced rental car that could cross the border to Seattle, and hopped in, expecting to be rejected and, now out of quarantine, already planning a short excursion in Vancouver for me and the feral cat for the next few days.  At the border, the first question I got was "what took you so long to leave the US after you got notice your visa was expired?"  He didn't have much to say after I reiterated this tale.  They had me pull over, and wait about 2 hours, while they scoured the paperwork, had me to do more, then came out and told me the VISA fee was something like $56.  I tried not to look too surprised, handed it over, and he said, yeah, looks like someone checked the wrong box on your last application, shouldn't have been an issue.  Now I had no words.

So I drove on down the road, on the US side, a little in shock, and pulled into the first Starbucks I saw to grab a coffee and snack, because I had absolutely no plan for this.  I pulled out my laptop, and starting looking for a flight to Anchorage -- I hadn't even purchased one yet -- and a hotel for the night.  Me and the feral cat were 1 flight away from returning to our old life.  And when we did get back, and I set his carrier down in our old home (which I had kept), and zipped it open, it was the most relief I have ever seen on that little face.  I plopped down on to the couch, and Harry did something he had never done before in his life, and may never do again.  He crawled up and laid across me, his head on my shoulder, and purred.  We were back.

So, now that THAT was over.  I still had a lonely feral cat that needed a friend.  With a 3 year lease on my working life, I felt like it was safe to start looking for another cat.  But I didn't know if I was ready.  I started watching all the rescue sites, and wasn't sure if Harry would be good with a kitten, or if it was fair to him ot get a kitten, or fair to the kitten.  And with kittens, they're like Lay's potato chips, you really can't have just one.  So I did some googling and the google said a male cat of the same age would be the likely best fit.  I still wasn't ready.  So I looked at it through the eyes of finding a companion for Harry, who looked so sad everyday when I came home.

Perusing Facebook one day, one of the local rescues had some photos up, and there was someone who caught my eye.  A big, tabby male, with all the same colorings as my first cat Lexi...the light brown tummy and all.  He wasn't super fluffy, but looked like he might be a long hair.   "Mufasa - adopted!" the caption said.  For the first time, I felt like I missed out on what might have been the right cat for both me and Harry.  I kicked myself for not being more on top of it, and decided not to let it happen again.  I called the local humane society to inquire about a little black and white fluffball there whose owner had died, and kept trolling the rescue sites.

The next weekend I willed myself to go to Petsmart, which showcases rescue cats every weekend for adoption.  I hadn't heard back from the Humane Society, so thought I would just go look at the Second Hand Cat Store and see what they had in stock.  I braved myself to go up to the adoption center to start looking in the windows.  And there, in the top right hand window, much to my surprise, was the same big tabby from the site the last weekend.  "What are you doing here?" I whispered to the kitty behind the glass.  "Returned" the sign on his window said.  He looked at me with big golden eyes.  They let me in, and I explained I was looking for a companion for my 8 year old, very shy cat.  Do you have any 8 year olds, I ask?  They plucked Mufasa out of his kitty jail cell and plopped him on my lap.  "Here, this guy is 8 and very chill."  He glanced nervously up from my lap, did one half turn and curled into a ball and gave a nervous purr.  "Oh, you're a big kitty...but you like me don't you"  He didn't really answer, but he really was a big kitty...at least twice Harry's size, and he did kind of seem to like me.  I asked if he was good with other cats, and they didn't really know.  Allergies is the reason they gave for the return, they told me.  As I sat in the second hand cat store holding the only third hand cat in sight, they tried to upsell me on some other kitties they had that needed good homes that weren't on site.  And that all of their kitties came with a 10 day return policy, but nobody goes home on day 1.  I could come back tomorrow after thinking about it and take home Mufasa, or anyone else I wanted.

So I went home to sleep on it.  I looked at little Harry, and wondered if Mufasa would be a good fit, being so much bigger.  I wondered about the other cats they told me about.  But as the night went on, my heart was set on the big-little tabby, who had been shaved (so might be fluffier thatn I realized).  I went back the next day, and they were happy to show me the other cats they brought in, all of who squirmed and immediately jumped out of my lap, showed no interest in me whatsoever.  I'd like to take Mufasa home, I said.  So I tucked him into the carrier and off we went, on the 10 day trial.  Now anybody who know me knows the cat is never going back, but I continued to pretend this was a trial run.

Mufasa settled right into the couch for the first of many long naps.  It took quite a while for he and Harry to become snugglebuddies, and to be honest, it mostly happens where Harry sneaks in to snuggle his already sleeping brother.  I didn't like the hardness of all the consonants in "Mufasa", it doesn't fit with such a fluffy soft being, so, I kept it as his official Microchip name, but he immediately became something much more fitting...as a mature cat, with what looks to be a little frowny face, I named him something which would be both adorable and ridiculously cute...Mr. Muffins.

Mr. Muffins posing a for Valentine's Day meme

                            

I will never understand how such a beautiful, soft, good natured kitty ended up in the second hand cat store.  I have a couple of theories.  One being he was the adored and pampered kitty of someone who died in the pandemic...because how else would someone else turn him into the second hand cat store?  Another where he was the spoiled cat of someone rich and famous, RV'ing across North America.  In a legendary story, he was separated from his people by a pack of wolves, escaped, and was rescued by woodland thugs, who removed his diamond collar and dumped him at a shelter.  The third is that he was the adored baby of a family who had a little girl, who dressed him up like a doll and dragged him everywhere, but they moved away and left him behind.  Or, his last rabies shot can be traced to Kodiak, so I could presume he roamed the wild there as the Cat King of Kodiak, master of the grizzly bears, commander of the humpback whales.  I guess I will never know for sure, but these are my best guesses.

And once the fur grew out, oh my goodness, is he ever fluffy again!  It was the shaved fur that gave me the idea he might be cold, so I bought him a little jacket.  And this is where the theory that he belonged to a little girl comes from, because the cat loves dress up.

                                        

The other thing I realized...was Mr. Muffins was probably an only cat.  He was quite horrified to think another cat had snuck into his house when Harry emerged from his hiding spot in the closet.  There was hissing, swatting, and an amazingly fast chase for a cat that otherwise fails to move.  But for Harry, it was love at first site.  A brother again...and a BIG one, perfect to protect him from the scary world.  Mr. Muffins was determined to have none of it, but Harry worked on nothing else but getting close to him for months.  Millimeter by millimeter he worked his way closer.  He would wait til he fell asleep.  And inch a tiny bit closer, and sit patiently for hours til Mr. Muffins woke up and told him to back off again.  But Harry was persistent, and has worn Mr. Muffins down.  He still slinks in next to him while he is sleeping, just in case he is grumpy, but then when Mr. Muffins wakes up he is pretty much used to the persistent little brother being stuck to him now.

                

Now, it has dawned on me that the Second Hand Cat Store charges the same for all cats.  It didn't take long to realize that the cat may be the world's laziest cat...it goes from nap to nap and snack to snack, barely batting an eyelid.  While Harry flits around the house, ping ponging off of things like a tennis ball, I realize that I either purchased a defective cat or a cat that is much older than the stated age of 8.  To quote a friend "honey, when you walk into the second hat cat store asking for an 8 year old cat, all the cats are 8 years old".  So my elderly, malfunctioning, thirdhand cat perhaps should have been discounted.  But, he is priceless to me!

Mr. Muffins in all his fluffy laziness as I type this

So, that's the long, drawn out story of how Mr. Muffins came to be in our home.  And the moral of the story is, support your local second hand cat store, they are filled with treasures.

Alaskan Night Lights

I don't think there has ever been a Sunday where I couldn't wait for the afternoon to end and the sun to set.  Trust me, it's not because I am looking forward to Monday morning at work.  It's because there was a solar storm.  The Bz's were in the minuses, the kPa's were legendarily high...and it was broad daylight in Alaska.  So I cooked supper early,  wadonned my layers, and watched for the sun to set.    I had my toque on inside as the sun slipped below the mountains, and it was barely Twighlight as I set my lawnchair out in the frozen driveway and took a glass of wine outside in my many layers to stare up at the night sky and wait.  Now, the lights normally come out a bit later, so pretty sure the neighbors thought I was nuts, sitting in my lawnchair in the cold at 9pm.  A situation that unfolds like this has two outcome options...legendary, or ridiculous.  I was hoping my preparation wouldn't jinx my luck at saying Lady Aurora.

I knew it was going to be an early show because the international aurora nerd network was showing brilliant displays in Scotland all afternoon, and the international aurora cams were lighting up.  I was really hoping to catch some reds...I have never seen that before.

Well, I didn't have to wait long.  By 9:30 I got everything I was hoping for.  

When I quickly looked at the shots and tried to pick a favorite, it was hard tonight, but it might be this one.

 
Or maybe this one...the row of colors was so beautiful.  I shall forever think of this one when I think about Alaska Nights and Lights.

The slower moving lights were a little crisper and easier to catch.  I was so blessed to get all the reds.

This one I really liked because of the fluffy snow in the foreground.

On this one I saw a bird.

And, as the Northern Lights do, they explode into super strong bursts of color.

I see an angel in this one.

Coudn't even begin to try to get the whole display in frame.

Rivers in the sky, winding their way through the mountains.

There was so much light in the sky at times it seemed like one big ball of glowing green.

And then it softened up just a bit before the reds started to fade away.

Giving one more sashay across the skyline.

Showing up the moon...kinda felt like the long ago days of clubbing with all the lights lol.

To be honest, I prefer nights like these now (compared to nights out indoors in crowded places).

I have never seen the lights cover this much sky in my little view before.

There aren't enough words for this gorgeous display tonight.  Enjoy.  Morning will be here soon, I best head to bed.  Thank you Alaska....that was fantastic!

Worth it!  Even if I ended up just using my phone again!