Lost But Loving It...In Alaska!: The Bermuda Besty

Being an expatriate can be quite an adventure and it usually comes with some perks -- in Bermuda for most of us it's dramatically lower income taxes, and for the Canadians we have traded in snowflakes for sand grains and the joy of rubbing out the minus sign from in front of our weather forecast. But it also means being in a new country without your family and friends to lean on, or to call when you get a flat tire or have other emergencies like your cat getting stuck in the wall (only my beloved JJ could have managed this resulting in me using a hair straightener to smash in the drywall of the condo i bought less than 24 hours after moving in...he was worth it). There are different rules, laws, customs, and figures of speech when you move to a new country -- for example i will never forget being new, asking for directions on the phone and having the frustrated person on the other end keep repeating "where you to!?!?" I gave up after a few rounds of saying where i was trying to go but being met with the same response. Just for future information -- "where you to" in Bermuda means "where are you now." It takes a while to figure this all out.

Probably the best perk, even above the tax free income, is experiencing life in an ex-pat community. Everyone comes from somewhere else, everyone left people behind, everyone has been through the learning curve or is still muddling through it, and everyone shares a little bit of the wanderlust that makes us get up and move home and country in the first place. And so it is that you meet the most amazing people, from all corners of the world.

At my first house share I met my first two Bermuda Besties, Eileen who had moved from Scotland as a young bride-to-be long enough ago to be an informative guide, and Rick who had moved from Toronto only a few months before me. 5 years later it is still all smiles, laughter, and great conversation every time i meet with either of them. I have met many great people since, and don't worry, you will be named and shamed in due course (kidding, but you might see a picture of yourself at the bottom of this blog), but today we start with Dev because it's his birthday. I am not going to lie, the rest of this is going to be an "Ode to the Dev," but there may be a few amusing references those of you who know him.

Dev was of course be the first person from work to stop me in town and say "hey, you're the new girl, would you like to join us." I was rushing off somewhere else so missed that opportunity, but not long after on a Saturday we bumped into each other again in town -- he was excited to show off his new sunnies from the bike shop and i needed a critical eye on a gift for my sister, and thus began a long tradition of shopping and cocktails. Today's blog I dedicate to a very special Bermuda Bestie who is turning 30 half a world away today in Australia. Since he hasn't been able to stay in one place for more than a week over these last 3 months, I am at a loss to even know where to send a card or gift certificate, so unfortunately, he gets a blog and an i.o.u.-a-present-when-you-get-an-address-again voucher. To be fair, I am kinda vindicated in this weak attempt as a present since I do still remember the year that he ate a scorpion for my birthday....he got that glean in his eye when he spied an almost empty tequila bottle in Coconut Rock with a scorpion at the bottom instead of a worm, and promptly declared that he would buy and drink the last couple of shots and eat the worm as a gift to me for my birthday. The only other time I have seen that level of blind determination is when he couldn't tear open his package of mustard and decided to attack it with a plastic fork in the cafeteria. It of course exploded and sprayed all over the front of his blue scrubs just as his brand new girlfriend walked in...classic. Anyway, back to the Scorpion, it was served on a dinner plate, with some greenery, and looked quite gourmet, but was apparently anything but delicious.

Don't worry, he had been dead for years (the scorpion not Dev)

Oh yes he did

The Bermuda Bestie is a very important connection. It involves being there, anytime, anyplace, for any reason for the simple fact that if you don't, who else would...and vice versa. The bestie bond merges friend circles and expands upon experiences -- it was through Dev that I met a lot of people, although to be fair for many years it was through Dev that most people met anyone. I brought a few good ones to the mix though. The bestie may be there when the tire goes flat, or at least be there to make fun of you when a random tow truck trolls by and finds you stranded on a Sunday and fixes your tire but keeps your contacts so they call you 6 times a day for the next 2 weeks in case you want to go for dinner. The bestie will take time out of an already too short trip to see family in NYC and storm into the Manhattan Dior store based on your hysterical call from Logan International regarding shoe drama, and put on a show that is would make Carrie Bradshaw proud in order to try and get your over the top shoes to the same country as you...and then pose with you like James Bond when the opportunity to wear them finally arrives. The bestie will be there when you fall, and i can honestly say that when you fall, they will fall with you (we'll leave that story out of the public record)...and cover for you to boot. If one of you makes a bad decision and you will weather the aftermath together, sometimes you make hilariously bad decisions at the same time because neither one of you has the discerning judgement of that situation to say "hold up." Of course those lead to the best memories of random dance parties at Marley Beach and broken New Year's Resolutions. You can weather a the blues on dark winter days with pizza and movies, and grieve and support losses with flickering light, a symphony of tree frogs, and a canopy of stars. You are there to prod each other along to new paths, celebrate achievements, apply an analytical eye when needed "no no! watch out, she has crazy eyes!" or "pffffft -- that guy? he's a jerk. I can tell by his shirt." You learn to decipher your bestie's phone and its auto text quirks -- like knowing what buckle and the Haitians is supposed to mean, and your own language develops over time -- for example "you've been snickerdoodled!!" means you're disappointed that your memory of something is more exceptional than it is in reality, and "there is no tea!" means it's really time to go home. You share journey's, both literal and figurative, and forgive each other the road bumps (i always thought talking with confidence about facts of aircraft emergencies and the joy of freefall and canopy flight would be a comfort to my airplane-traumatized Bestie...it may have been the only time he asked me to stop talking). And when the time comes for the repatriation, or re-expatriation elsewhere (i am not sure that's even a word but you know what i mean), you may lose a Bermuda bestie, but you have a new part of your forever family. The Bermuda Bestie is really the best of all Bermuda bests. Happy Birthday Dev!