Love it seems comes in many forms. And everyone finds it, one way or another. Sometimes the best loves are not the first kind you think of. As I have learned, sometimes love wakes you up at 4 o clock in the morning, every morning. Sometimes, well in fact every time, love eats your flowers. Love can meet you at the door, share your dinner, and sometimes puke on the carpet. Yes, today I am talking about one particular little love, the JJ cat, who passed away one year ago today.
JJ, like most pets, loved with 100% of his heart, and unconditionally. It didn't matter how many times I rejected his 4 am affection by playing dead or hiding under the covers, he would persistently bounce around on top of me and pull at the covers with his paws until he was able to bestow his pre-sunrise greeting of purring love on my sleepy self. And any reluctance on my part did not deter his exuberance at trying again the next morning. Nothing made him happier than a cuddle, or being carried around. If i didn't think to do it frequently enough, he would climb onto the shelf, cupboard, or ledge nearest me, and just leap out across the room when I got within range, and burrow in purring. There were many days I did the dishes or housework with a 12 pound black fuzzball draped over my shoulder.
On a good day, it was made better by my little friend, happy to share all my time at home, purring away next to the fireplace, the computer, or perched next to me on the couch, On a bad day, he stuck even closer. I used to joke that a good cat can absorb at least 2 Litres of tears. He never complained if I got his fur wet if I needed a good cry over something.
Just after his 16th birthday, JJ died of pancreas cancer. There was no surgery, no therapy that could be done. The vet recommended euthanasia 2 months prior, but I decided that as long as he wasn't in pain, and could eat and move about, purr,and enjoy being loved, that he would stay at home with me. And so every day I headed into the unknown territory of the kitchen and prepared fresh food, made sure he ate and was hydrated, and checked to make sure he was not in pain. He was very tired, but his eyes met mine with the same love they had for 16 years each day. There was an added relief when I brushed his fur, as he had become too tired to groom, and when I carried him up the stairs at bedtime so that he wouldn't have to walk up on his own. So on a Sunday afternoon, one year ago today, while we were sitting reading, he stood up and went to the window, and slumped to the floor. I rushed over and held him as he took his last breath, grateful to be able to be at his side, for him to be in his home as he left this world. There is a poem called The Rainbow Bridge, which speaks of a sort of pet heaven, where animals go to frolic and play until they are once again reunited with their owners in the life that follows this one. I however, had a dream a few nights before he passed, in which my little niece, who has also left this life, was crouched down and calling JJ to her. However it all works, I know there is a lot of love waiting for me on the other side of this life. And some of it will be bestowed in purrs. Til then, I hope he has lot of flowers to eat, Christmas trees to push over, and boxes to play in. I sure miss him, his quirks, and all the love he had waiting for me at 4 am every morning! Yup, all we need is love. In some form.
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| JJ's last picture |
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