Our Canada

The light that crept into my room this morning was a surreal orange glow, lighting the base of low lying eastern clouds with a metallic golden hue, while the western skies were still black with light.  I don't normally photograph sunrises, as the handful I have ever seen were only because I was still awake, and those were many, many years ago.  I left my warm bed and walked out to the crisp, pre 7am air and took a snapshot.  I did it consciously because of two men who could not, two men who will never again have the opportunity as I do now.

 

I refer, of course, to Warrant Officer Patrice Vincent and Corporal Nathan Cirillo.  I set my camera down and watched the skies turn from orange to red before lightening into day.  "At the going down of the sun and in the morning we will remember them," I thought intrinsically.

I listened today not so much to the news, but more to social media, individuals, even a radio talk show.  I spent some time in quiet reflection.  And through the day began to make more sense of my own thoughts, and they did go through many phases.  My initial reaction was not shock, it was not horror, or fear.  The world is no longer surprised at the lack of humanity or cowardice of terrorists.  I was sad for the senseless loss of life of these two men, unarmed.  I felt grief, though I did not know them.  I felt disgust at the parties responsible, disgust at their characters --  men who were disloyal to their country, shamed their families, men who disrespected the principles in place in this country that nurtured them with freedom of speech, religion, association, movement, and choice and provided them with education, healthcare, and infrastructure.  I felt anger that people on a watchlist had been able to progress to the point of harming others.  I did not feel sorry that the men behind this were dead.  And then, I felt a little ashamed of those last two reactions.  These two men, though their acts are reprehensible beyond words, were Canadian citizens.  They belonged to our nation in life, they belong to this nation in death, and we will own their story as well.

As the day went on I heard many important view points.  One friend ardently opposed any changes in reaction to these events as doing so would be an affront on the principles of our democracy.  I thought carefully, and respectfully realized that he is right.  Another friend made minor changes to the security level in information on social media, and he too is right.  Sergeant-at-arms Kevin Vickers reported for work to applause and a standing ovation today, and pride swelled in all of our hearts.  The Pittsburgh Penguins organization sang the Canadian anthem in their arena, and people across Canada felt the embrace and support of an old friend and neighbour.  The mother of the shooter said "we are sorry."  That will never be enough, but it is important she said it.  It was the right thing to do.  It took courage and integrity for her to face the world media today and apologize, but she did so in another example of Canadian values.  A photograph of a retired veteran standing at the cenotaph today brought a tears.  In fact, over 300 cenotaphs had veterans stand guard today.  I was touched by the symbolic gesture.  I felt proud of our veterans.  Proud of our nation.

And as the day wore on, I think I and many others, became more aware of just who we are as Canadians.  We believe in life without fear or oppression.  We believe in honour and integrity.  This is our identity, this is who we are.  I believe in the courage and the grace of our citizens.  I support our military who volunteer for service because it calls them.  And I know this -- for whatever the intent of these attacks was, their result was clear.  They have inspired even more patriotism, more national pride, more empathy, more resolve.  If the intent was to cause fear or hatred, then those involved made a serious miscalculation of who Canadians are...because it is not hatred that results from these heinous acts, but rather a affirmation of our identity and strength, and an overwhelming outpouring of love.

My heart breaks for the families of Vincent Patrice and Nathan Cirillo, may the support of a nation provide some comfort in their unimaginable grief.